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as daft punk walk onstage to accept their grammy they remove their helmets to reveal they are both ashton kutcher and you’ve all been Daft Punk’d
i just get this really strong feeling that obama can quote mean girls
me: oh god
me: i am about to tell you literally everything about the thing
why did the chicken cross the road
apparently because the black one was following it
Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
- Acquire several dozen limes.
- Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
- Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
- Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
- Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
- Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
- Marry them.